Your Feelings Are Real. But Are They Always Right?

The Power of Emotions

We’ve all been there—caught in the grip of intense emotions, whether it’s fear, anger, self-doubt, or even elation. These feelings can be so overwhelming, they feel like absolute truth. When you’re anxious before a big presentation, it feels like you’re doomed to fail. When you’re excited about a new relationship, it feels like it will last forever.

But here’s a question we rarely stop to ask: Are our feelings always right? Just because an emotion feels strong and real, does that mean it’s guiding us correctly? In today’s post, we’re going to explore why acknowledging our feelings is essential, but why it’s equally important not to let them dictate our actions or define who we are.

Feelings vs. Facts

Emotions are part of what makes us human. They bring colour to our experiences, guiding us through joy, grief, and everything in between. But while feelings are real, they don’t always represent reality. There’s a big difference between something feeling true and being true.

Consider this: You walk into a room full of new faces, and instantly, you feel anxious. That anxiety might tell you, “I don’t belong here,” or “I’m not good enough.” But in reality, those thoughts are just emotions talking, not facts. The truth is, it’s up to you. You can choose belong there. Or not. And your worth has nothing to do with your nerves. The emotion is real—but it’s not necessarily right.

Too often, we take our feelings at face value, letting them dictate our actions and hold us back. We avoid opportunities, sabotage relationships, or shy away from challenges simply because our emotions say, “It’s too hard,” or “I’m not ready.” But here's the thing: Feelings are temporary. They come and go like waves, and while they can offer insight, they’re not reliable decision-makers.

Why Do We Trust Our Feelings So Much?

So why do we put so much stock in our emotions? Why do we assume that because we feel something deeply, it must be right? The answer lies in biology.

Emotions evolved to help us survive. Fear kept our ancestors alert to danger; love and attachment kept us connected to our tribe, ensuring mutual support. But today, in a world where physical threats are rare and social complexity is high, our emotional responses can be out of sync with reality. Anxiety about a big project at work might feel as intense as the fear of being chased by a predator, but the stakes are vastly different. The emotions we experience were designed for survival, not thriving in a modern world.

This is why we need to step back and question our emotions. We have to ask: Is this emotion guiding me toward growth, or is it just my brain’s way of trying to protect me from perceived danger?

Emotions as Guides, Not Dictators

Here’s an empowering thought: Your emotions are signals, not commands. They’re like warning lights on a dashboard. When you’re angry, anxious, or stressed, your emotions are alerting you that something needs attention. But just like a car’s dashboard, not every signal means you have to pull over and stop. Sometimes, you can keep driving.

Instead of letting your feelings dictate your actions, try this: Acknowledge them without judgment. Say to yourself, “Okay, I’m feeling scared. What’s this fear trying to tell me?” By doing this, you respect your emotions without being controlled by them. You’re creating space between feeling and action, and that space is where real power lies.

Imagine a surfer on the ocean. They don’t fight the waves; they ride them. Sometimes they get knocked off the board, but they don’t stay down. They get back up, adjust, and catch the next wave. Your emotions are like those waves—real, powerful, and sometimes overwhelming—but you can learn to ride them without being pulled under.

Practical Steps to Mastering Your Emotions

Now that we know emotions don’t have to control us, how do we put that into practice? Here are a few actionable steps you can take to master your emotions and make sure they serve you, not hold you back:

1. Pause Before Reacting
   When a strong emotion hits—whether it’s fear, anger, or excitement—pause. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to think. Ask yourself, “Is this feeling based on reality, or is it just a reaction?” This short pause can give you the clarity to respond more thoughtfully.

2. Label the Emotion
   Research shows that simply naming your emotion can reduce its intensity. Say, “I’m feeling anxious,” or “I’m feeling frustrated,” and watch how labelling it gives you some distance from the feeling itself.

3. Challenge the Thought Behind the Emotion
   Emotions are often driven by thoughts, and many of those thoughts are based on assumptions or fears. If you’re feeling anxious about a job interview, challenge the thought that’s driving the anxiety. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen? Is that really likely?”

4. Reframe the Feeling
   Often, the way we interpret a feeling determines how we react to it. Instead of saying, “I’m scared of failing,” try saying, “I’m excited to take on a new challenge.” Reframing the emotion changes the narrative and gives you power over how you respond.

5. Take Action Despite the Emotion
   Remember, courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s taking action in spite of fear. When you push forward, even when your feelings are telling you to stop, you build emotional resilience. You prove to yourself that while your feelings are real, they don’t have the final say in your life.

Long-Term Benefits of Emotional Mastery

The more you practice mastering your emotions, the more empowered you’ll feel. Instead of being tossed around by the waves of life, you’ll learn to navigate them. Over time, this emotional mastery will help you in every area of your life—from personal relationships to career growth.

When you acknowledge your emotions but choose not to be defined by them, you open yourself up to new possibilities. You’re no longer avoiding challenges because of fear or missing opportunities because of self-doubt. You’re actively creating the life you want, regardless of how you feel in the moment.

And here’s the best part: The more you practice, the easier it gets. You’ll start to notice that the emotions that once overwhelmed you now have less power over your actions. You’ll become the surfer, mastering the waves instead of being dragged under by them.

Your Feelings Are Real, But You Are Stronger

So, the next time a wave of emotion hits, remind yourself: This feeling is real, but it doesn’t define me. You are stronger than any single emotion, and your life is shaped not by your feelings, but by your actions.

The journey to emotional mastery isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding paths you can take. By acknowledging your emotions and choosing how to respond, you gain control over your life in a way that few people ever do.

Don’t Just Sit There!
If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear this message today. And if you’re ready to dive even deeper into mastering your emotions and creating a life on your terms, Zac’s Inner Circle is coming in January 2025 so stay tuned.

Together, we’ll make 2025 the year you conquer your emotions and unlock your true potential.

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