It's Not The Hours You Put In. It's What You Put Into The Hours.
Learn from my mistakes and save yourself a ton of time.
It's not the hours that you put in it's what you put into the hours it's not the hours that you put in it's what you put in to the hours hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the School of Inspiration from the school of Inspiration, my attempt to make your lives a million times better.
Thanks for reading The Empowering Divorce! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Thanks for being here again. Everything I talk about here is not something I wrote in a book, although I do SWAT up on a lot of great thinking from around the world, from some of the best leading thinkers. But most of what I share with you is from my own life experience, my own lessons learned, my own shortcomings as they were until very, very recently.
It's not the hours you put in it's what you put into the hours. I wish to God I'd appreciated this much.
Sooner. So much time wasted, so many moments not appreciated, so many things, so many gifts that life gave me in terms of experiences, in terms of relationships, in terms of love, in terms of just amazing, amazing memories that I was constantly a person not present. I was always in a rush, I was always thinking ahead.
I was always thinking about what's next? What around the corner? Where are we going next? I've been lucky enough to visit places like San Francisco, to Hong Kong, to Bali, to Venice, Marbella, Lisbon, Paris, Rome, Milan,
and flying to some of the most amazing places. I've been lucky enough to be in relationships
which were all with really, really amazing women. I've had the cars, I've had the mansions, I've had the houses, I've had the holidays, I've had
everything. Being treated like a king in hotels from the Westbridge to the Shelbourne to the Langham to Claridge's to the Barclay to the Ritz Carlton in Dubai.
And I'm not saying that show off, by the way. I worked for all those things, and I thoroughly enjoyed traveling, and I enjoy the nicer things in life.
I don't apologize for them either. But every single time, for most of my life, I've been a person who wasn't present, who wasn't enjoying the moment,
always worried about what's next, always worried about tomorrow. My mind was constantly racing.
I was never able to just chill and enjoy the moment.
I don't know why. Probably because I was maybe worried. Probably because I didn't know how to settle.
But my mind was always racing. And I'm looking back now, it's only now that I've understood.
Probably. Since just before COVID In fact, 2018, 2019, that I started to realize I'm on like a hamster on this wheel, running and running and running and running, and where's it getting me. It's just getting me anxious, stressed, and it's stressing other people around me as well. I remember whenever we would fly it, I would take charge of all the travel arrangements, because aviation and travel will be my strong point.
I know airports, I know the allowances, the baggage allowances, when to get there to make sure everyone goes through and is comfortable. And we get into the lounge and we can chill and get to the aircraft on time, and I'll make sure we're the best seats and everything was taken care of.
The limo would pick us up the other end, make sure the hotel was ready for us, and it was running smoothly. Always. Everything was like clockwork. And my partners at the time who would come with me, they had the greatest time ever. But I was like a wedding planner.
I was a stress head. I was always worried, okay, every single detail is it going right? Is it going wrong? And if it went wrong. I would I probably wouldn't be the best person to be traveling with, because as much as I tried to make things perfect, it would take a slightest thing for me to
break the egg or cast a die on the whole thing. And sometimes I'd get stressed out, and sometimes I'd get agitated, and sometimes they would, like, ruin it for me. And that would obviously infect the people around me, and I regret that a lot.
So I've learned now,
just enjoy the moment. Chill. Go with the flow. Make your arrangements, make sure they're done well, but allow tolerance for things to go wrong. And if it does go wrong, it's not the end of the world, but be present. Be present for those around you. Put your phone down.
Enjoy the moment. And I do deeply regret wasting all that time
stressing, stressing, stressing, and worrying over stuff that there's a great phrase. Um
it doesn't really apply to me, but I get the logic. A coward dies a thousand deaths a day because they're always worried about what's going wrong next. So that next thing going wrong will destroy their day. Whereas a brave person only dies once. And I wasn't enough of that brave person.
I was too much worrying about every single thing that could go wrong, and it would ruin my day. So it wasn't about the hours. It wasn't about all work I'd put in. It was about me not being present. So, again, it's not about the hours you put in. It's about what you put into the hours.
So even if you get 1 hour
to be with someone you care about, whether it's a parent, a family member, your partner, a colleague, a friend,
even a stranger, just try and be present. Because that is a gift. That's a gift that wasn't always giving, even though I was probably receiving it and I didn't realize it. And the other thing is, even if you're not with someone,
another thing I've learned to do is just look. Around me because maybe the universe, maybe nature is being present with me. So when I used to go out for my walks again, this is very recent. This is like three or four years ago. This is not something I've always had.
It's not like I've got all the answers. I've only just worked it out. But I would now look around me and just look at everything going on. Just listen to the sounds.
Sometimes when I'm going for a walk, I see lots of kids and parents on the school run going to school and coming from school. And I just make it a point to just look at them all and see the smiling faces and the little scooters and their backpacks and how the parents are holding their hands and the conversations going on and just seeing them going into school and starting their lives
and looking at nature and looking at trees and looking at the grass and the flowers. And it's helped me a lot. So be present. It try and be present, whether it's with your kids, someone you care about,
give them the gift of your presence and just. Be there turn the phone off, turn it upside down and if you're on your own be present with nature be present with the world around you just take it in you don't have to get anxious don't have to get agitated.
You don't have to
cast judgment or anything. But that has brought immense peace to me, and I hope it will bring immense peace to you. And we know
if you're arranging a dinner, if you get on. Holiday with someone I've learned the hard we're know just enjoy it what will be will be you'll get through, you'll get to the destination enjoy the journey enjoy the journey something I have failed to do
for a very long,
you know, going to Milan. I still remember being stressed in the paper shop and W. A. Smith and Dublin Airport. Going to San Francisco, being stressed in the lounge, in the Virgin Lounge instead of just, you know what? It'll be fine, it'll be okay. Life's got your back if you're doing the right things.
Reasons. Life has got your back and the universe has your back, and it'll be fine.
So. Yeah, I've learned that. And I'm sharing that with you, hopefully. Maybe you're ahead of me. Maybe you're already doing that. But if you're not,
it's not the hours you put in. It's what you put into the hours. So put every single amazing thing into the hours. Put everything in it. Give them your full. Give it your best. Give it your all. Come to it with love. Come to it with warmth. Come to it with gratitude.
Come to it with appreciation. Two words I wish I had practiced more of appreciation and gratitude. So that's my message for today. Thank you for watching the School of Inspiration. The school of inspiration. If you like this message, please share it. Tag it like us and subscribe. I will see you very, very soon.
Take care. Bye.